The Zack Johnson Subterfuge
by WeBuiltThePyramids
Summary: I loved the Thanksgiving episode. But I still had to write a variation on the scene with Zack because it came into my head and I think it would have been pretty cool for this to have been a thing.


**So I just want to make one thing clear – I absolutely LOVED "The Thanksgiving Decoupling." I know in the past that I've written extensions of scenes – or redone scenes – to make myself feel better about them, but this isn't one of those times. This is just what I think would have been a cool twist – although again, I'm not unhappy with how the episode played out. This is just one of those "this is what Fanfic is for!" instances.**

**Consider the beginning of this fic to be the episode up until Zack shows up.**

* * *

"So, um, why exactly am I here?" Zack asked, his brow deeply furrowed as he crossed his arms.

"Oh, I think we'll let Penny tell you about that," Leonard said, his own arms folded and his jaw set.

"Well, um, Zack," Penny said, moving to be between him and Leonard. "You and I actually got married a couple years ago, when we were in Vegas."

Zack stared at her without moving for a few seconds. Penny raised her eyebrows at him. He cleared his throat. "Um, what?"

"Married," Penny said. "You and me. We're married."

"That doesn't make any sense," Zack said. "Do you love me?"

Penny shook her head. "No."

"Can you see yourself…" he trailed off as if he'd forgotten what he was going to say.

"Being with you for the rest of my life?" Penny prompted.

"Can you see yourself being with me for the rest of your life?"

"No," Penny said, shaking her head. "I can't."

"Do you want to have my babies?"

"God no."

"Well then," Zack said. "Why would you marry me?"

"That may have been the first thing he's ever said that makes sense,"Bernadette whispered.

"I don't know why I would marry you, Zack," Penny said. "You aren't any of those things to me."

"You know what I think?" Zack asked.

"Not much," Sheldon whispered.

"I think you should marry someone who, like, where…all those things we said before, when those things are true."

"Someone I love and want to spend my life with and want to have kids with probably but in a few years not right now because we are _so-ho-_ho not ready yet?" Penny said.

Zack gave her a thumbs up. "Exactly."

"Good idea, Zack!" Penny said. She turned to look at Leonard. "Leonard?" She grabbed his hands. "What do you say?"

Leonard was silent for a moment, but unlike the others in the room managed to keep his jaw hinged. Then he spoke. "What?"

Penny didn't elaborate, she just looked at him, a smile fighting to spread across her face. Leonard cocked his head. "You and him are not really…"

The smile became slightly more prominent. She shook her head.

"This whole thing was…"

There was more smile. There was nodding.

"Are you…"

The smile won the war. She squeezed his hands. "Will you marry me?"

"Oh my God…" he bit his lower lip. He shook his head in disbelief, staring at her, noticing Zack's big dorky grin in the background. After a moment or two, he managed to put himself together. "You made up a story about being married and got him to come down here – heck you got him to memorize what he had to say, well, mostly…" he shook his head again. "I was so upset! You are so mean!"

"I know," she said, grinning. "But will you marry me?"

"As long as I'm not marrying someone who is already married."

"Don't worry," Zack said. "I'm perfectly fine with this. She's all yours."

"Well if Zack gives his permission, my answer is yes," Leonard pulled Penny in for a kiss.

"Awww," the rest of the group said as a collective. Raj put his arms around both Amy and Bernadette.

"I cannot believe you made up a fake marriage story to propose to me."

"It was worth it for the look on your face when you realized what I was up to," she said, grinning and pushing her head into the crook of his neck.

Zack stepped closer and tapped Penny on the shoulder. "Was my acting good?"

Without removing herself from Leonard's embrace, Penny raised her hand above her head for a thumbs up.

Howard exited the kitchen and stopped, staring at Leonard and Penny. "What did I miss?"

Penny opened her eyes and straightened up. "I proposed to Leonard."

"She was never really married," Bernadette said. "What?" she protested when everyone looked at her. "He needs some context!"

"You guys are engaged?" Howard said excitedly. Penny and Leonard nodded, both grinning. Penny slid her arm over Leonard's shoulders.

Howard's tone turned to hurt. "Every…everyone was there but me?"

"Oh…" Penny felt bad momentarily, then swallowed and shrugged. "Then I guess we're even."

"Oh," Sheldon said. "Snap."

* * *

**I know I could have put this as a chapter of Rules of Engagement, but I didn't want it to be obvious without even reading the first sentence what was going to happen. And I feel it didn't fit since it ties into a specific episode. (And I know Sheldon wasn't in that scene, but Penny also didn't propose so I figure I could put him there for this.)**

**Also a quick note – I love reviews, even anonymous ones, but please note that if you ask me a question in an anonymous review, I have no way of answering you.**


End file.
